no one wants to vomit their
weaknesses on other people
...
i've been in a spiritual
"phunk" if you will,
for about a week.
after finding it
exhausting to force
the promises of God
and spiritual truths
that i know,
into my heart,
God has finally reached me.
He has given me joy,
understanding,
and a renewed Spirit
that gives me hope.
yah, problems just don't
go away
but God is never changing
and He will always be
my mine
and I his.
3.20.2010
3.19.2010
never caught
sickness for so long.
keep getting new symptoms
& then holding onto them for a
week or so.
symptom of the week? cough.
no worries. it's small.
...
this week of class hit me hard,
pretty exhausted
...
house-sitting this weekend
...
lots of art projects to work on, too
...
thinkin about how
i strive and strive for
other people's
affection and love,
when i truly long
for security within the
unfailing
unconditional
love of God.
keep getting new symptoms
& then holding onto them for a
week or so.
symptom of the week? cough.
no worries. it's small.
...
this week of class hit me hard,
pretty exhausted
...
house-sitting this weekend
...
lots of art projects to work on, too
...
thinkin about how
i strive and strive for
other people's
affection and love,
when i truly long
for security within the
unfailing
unconditional
love of God.
3.16.2010
3.15.2010
chapel
and drawing class were
incredibly enjoyable today
because
i was just filled God's peace
spanish class was aight.
i miss the Hinckley family.
been wondering about what
i'm doing for the summer...
... mm Baylor in Madrid?
yes please.
but i'll probably end up
in Chile or Argentina
with Baylor in a few semesters
lookin forward to some
CA sun n' love
thankful that Waco TX
is experiencing some
beautiful weather
...
been thinkin about
Philipians 2:1-4 {NIV}
"If you have any encouragement
from being united with Christ,
if any comfort from his love,
if any fellowship with the Spirit,
if any tenderness or compassion,
then make my joy complete,
by being like-minded,
being one in spirit and purpose.
Do nothing out of selfish
ambition or vain conceit,
but consider others better than
yourself.
Each of you should look not
only to your interests,
but also to the interests of others."
incredibly enjoyable today
because
i was just filled God's peace
spanish class was aight.
i miss the Hinckley family.
been wondering about what
i'm doing for the summer...
... mm Baylor in Madrid?
yes please.
but i'll probably end up
in Chile or Argentina
with Baylor in a few semesters
lookin forward to some
CA sun n' love
thankful that Waco TX
is experiencing some
beautiful weather
...
been thinkin about
Philipians 2:1-4 {NIV}
"If you have any encouragement
from being united with Christ,
if any comfort from his love,
if any fellowship with the Spirit,
if any tenderness or compassion,
then make my joy complete,
by being like-minded,
being one in spirit and purpose.
Do nothing out of selfish
ambition or vain conceit,
but consider others better than
yourself.
Each of you should look not
only to your interests,
but also to the interests of others."
3.13.2010
Psalm 119:23-24 {NIV}
"Search me O God and know my heart
Test me and know my anxious thoughts
See if there is any offensive way in me
and lead me in the way everlasting"
been on my mind lately...
Test me and know my anxious thoughts
See if there is any offensive way in me
and lead me in the way everlasting"
been on my mind lately...
highlights of spring break
=things i'm incredibly
grateful for
some may sound really weird...
.the day that David & i
cleaned the gutters and skylights
on the roof
.sitting on the roof at night
while David smoked his pipe
.new favorite movie:
Stranger Than Fiction
.others i like:
Whip It & Shawshank Redemption
.after attempting
many "pulls" i can do a
pull-up again finally
.finger tip push ups!
.David's sister
Jessica
was an amazing cook!
our last morning there,
she made us
German Apple Pancakes
+ fresh berries and whipped cream
.David's guitar skills
.hanging out with his mom
while she did paper work
.i'm most thankful for
getting to be a part of
such a beautiful family
grateful for
some may sound really weird...
.the day that David & i
cleaned the gutters and skylights
on the roof
.sitting on the roof at night
while David smoked his pipe
.new favorite movie:
Stranger Than Fiction
.others i like:
Whip It & Shawshank Redemption
.after attempting
many "pulls" i can do a
pull-up again finally
.finger tip push ups!
.David's sister
Jessica
was an amazing cook!
our last morning there,
she made us
German Apple Pancakes
+ fresh berries and whipped cream
.David's guitar skills
.hanging out with his mom
while she did paper work
.i'm most thankful for
getting to be a part of
such a beautiful family
3.05.2010
pretty much all alone.
my friends have left
{or will leave
tomorrow morning}
for spring break 2
Haiti, Costa Rica, and Edinburg, TX
i leave for San Angelo
Sunday
til then i should...
1. deep clean my room
2. do my three loads of laundry
{that means i need to find $6
worth of quarters some how
3. read my Bible more
4. rest! {i'm sick, again.
5. ...i'm
going to stop making a list
and go clean my room...
yahtzee!
*as Ryan Paulson would say
{or will leave
tomorrow morning}
for spring break 2
Haiti, Costa Rica, and Edinburg, TX
i leave for San Angelo
Sunday
til then i should...
1. deep clean my room
2. do my three loads of laundry
{that means i need to find $6
worth of quarters some how
3. read my Bible more
4. rest! {i'm sick, again.
5. ...i'm
going to stop making a list
and go clean my room...
yahtzee!
*as Ryan Paulson would say
2.27.2010
i miss CA
it's awesome to be back,
don't get me wrong,
but I really miss
my family {+ Shelly},
my college group at church,
my Mission-styled home,
my dogs,
my cats,
Shapiro parties,
THE BEACH,
the weather,
my lovely bible study
with Natalie B.,
Escondido Joe's Coffee,
hiking in Escondido,
studying at Barnes & Noble
cause no where else is open
at 9:30 p.m.,
taking the train
& meeting people,
the fresh CA fruit,
the palm trees,
In N Out,
Oceanside Pier,
my ICF bible study
of international students,
& star gazing
just to name a few...
don't get me wrong,
but I really miss
my family {+ Shelly},
my college group at church,
my Mission-styled home,
my dogs,
my cats,
Shapiro parties,
THE BEACH,
the weather,
my lovely bible study
with Natalie B.,
Escondido Joe's Coffee,
hiking in Escondido,
studying at Barnes & Noble
cause no where else is open
at 9:30 p.m.,
taking the train
& meeting people,
the fresh CA fruit,
the palm trees,
In N Out,
Oceanside Pier,
my ICF bible study
of international students,
& star gazing
just to name a few...
2.23.2010
crazy texas weather
it's snowing!
light, steady shower.
earlier,
a nice wintry mix
of ice, rain, and snow
i love precipitation
haha
...
on a serious note,
let this be of
encouragement:
Psalm 145:14
"The Lord upholds all those
who fall, & lifts up
all who are bowed down."
2.22.2010
new day
new life.
i feel sooo rejuvenated
and refreshed!
i'm gaining many new
life ambitions;
i'm getting on top of
my schooling;
and i'm feeling good.
very good, actually.
almost completely
healed! -
after being sick for
2 weeks.
hallelujah!
i feel sooo rejuvenated
and refreshed!
i'm gaining many new
life ambitions;
i'm getting on top of
my schooling;
and i'm feeling good.
very good, actually.
almost completely
healed! -
after being sick for
2 weeks.
hallelujah!
2.18.2010
amidst anxiety, the Lord stands still. I wait for His sweet peace.
John 12:27-28 {NIV}
"Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!" Then a voice came from heaven, "I have glorified it, and will glorify it again."
=Christ's example of how we should respond to trials, pain, suffering
Lamentations 3:19-32 {NIV}
"I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young. Let him sit alone in silence, for the Lord has laid it on him. Let him bury his face in the dust— there may yet be hope. Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him, and let him be filled with disgrace. For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love."
Psalm 27 {NIV}
"The Lord is my light and my salvation—so why should I be afraid? The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble? When evil people come to devour me, when my enemies and foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart will not be afraid. Even if I am attacked, I will remain confident. The one thing I ask of the Lord— the thing I seek most—is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, delighting in the Lord’s perfections and meditating in his Temple. For he will conceal me there when troubles come; he will hide me in his sanctuary. He will place me out of reach on a high rock. Then I will hold my head high above my enemies who surround me. At his sanctuary I will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy, singing and praising the Lord with music. Hear me as I pray, O Lord. Be merciful and answer me! My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.” And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.” Do not turn your back on me. Do not reject your servant in anger. You have always been my helper. Don’t leave me now; don’t abandon me, O God of my salvation! Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close. Teach me how to live, O Lord. Lead me along the right path, for my enemies are waiting for me. Do not let me fall into their hands. For they accuse me of things I’ve never done; with every breath they threaten me with violence. Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living. Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord."
mm, the Lord comforted me this morning
while i sat beside the Baylor creek...
He was with me while i took my
American Lit. test...
He spoke truth to me through
Sunny & Hinckley...
& He has never stopped
pursuing me.
"Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!" Then a voice came from heaven, "I have glorified it, and will glorify it again."
=Christ's example of how we should respond to trials, pain, suffering
Lamentations 3:19-32 {NIV}
"I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young. Let him sit alone in silence, for the Lord has laid it on him. Let him bury his face in the dust— there may yet be hope. Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him, and let him be filled with disgrace. For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love."
Psalm 27 {NIV}
"The Lord is my light and my salvation—so why should I be afraid? The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble? When evil people come to devour me, when my enemies and foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart will not be afraid. Even if I am attacked, I will remain confident. The one thing I ask of the Lord— the thing I seek most—is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, delighting in the Lord’s perfections and meditating in his Temple. For he will conceal me there when troubles come; he will hide me in his sanctuary. He will place me out of reach on a high rock. Then I will hold my head high above my enemies who surround me. At his sanctuary I will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy, singing and praising the Lord with music. Hear me as I pray, O Lord. Be merciful and answer me! My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.” And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.” Do not turn your back on me. Do not reject your servant in anger. You have always been my helper. Don’t leave me now; don’t abandon me, O God of my salvation! Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close. Teach me how to live, O Lord. Lead me along the right path, for my enemies are waiting for me. Do not let me fall into their hands. For they accuse me of things I’ve never done; with every breath they threaten me with violence. Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living. Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord."
mm, the Lord comforted me this morning
while i sat beside the Baylor creek...
He was with me while i took my
American Lit. test...
He spoke truth to me through
Sunny & Hinckley...
& He has never stopped
pursuing me.
2.12.2010
i am eaten.
clarification:
so many things are eating away at me...
But I want to put on the full armor of God,
so that when the day of evil comes,
I may be able to stand my ground-
to stand with the belt of truth
buckled around my waste,
with the breatplate of righteousness in place,
and my feet fitted with the readiness
that comes from the gospel of peace.
{Ephesians 6:13-15 NIV}
Lord, i want to be secure in You!
i want to be unshaken in Your truth,
i want to hold onto Your promises-
hold onto who You say You are
& who You say i am,
i want to live in Your abundant life,
because everything else
leaves me unsatisfied & dry.
"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit."
{Jeremiah 17:7-8 NIV}
so many things are eating away at me...
But I want to put on the full armor of God,
so that when the day of evil comes,
I may be able to stand my ground-
to stand with the belt of truth
buckled around my waste,
with the breatplate of righteousness in place,
and my feet fitted with the readiness
that comes from the gospel of peace.
{Ephesians 6:13-15 NIV}
Lord, i want to be secure in You!
i want to be unshaken in Your truth,
i want to hold onto Your promises-
hold onto who You say You are
& who You say i am,
i want to live in Your abundant life,
because everything else
leaves me unsatisfied & dry.
"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit."
{Jeremiah 17:7-8 NIV}
2.11.2010
today's thoughts consist of
...an amazing cupcake recipe found here
{by Design Sponge Online}
can't wait to use it!
...'Singles' Awareness Day' {S.A.D.} is
coming up
...how my plaid rainboots
make me feel empowered.
i can walk through anything
that comes my way... hyah!
{by Design Sponge Online}
can't wait to use it!
...'Singles' Awareness Day' {S.A.D.} is
coming up
...how my plaid rainboots
make me feel empowered.
i can walk through anything
that comes my way... hyah!
2.10.2010
eeet
*Regina Spektor
birthday night: no sticky rice & coconut ice cream
at Bangkok Royale
but did have some tex mex
with Patti, Rachana, Sunny, Bret, Gina, & Jon!
earlier in the day,
grabbed some Panera
with wonderful friends
...
Gina's some-what surprise party:
with balloons!!! vanilla cake
vanilla icing
vanilla ice cream
yum in the tum.
o! and the sermon that morning.
mm! phenomenal! thanks Jimmy!
& happy birthday to you too
{his was Feb. 8th}
grateful for my new tea infuser
and little, sweet, pot of white roses.
mmm. lovely.
birthday night: no sticky rice & coconut ice cream
at Bangkok Royale
but did have some tex mex
with Patti, Rachana, Sunny, Bret, Gina, & Jon!
earlier in the day,
grabbed some Panera
with wonderful friends
...
Gina's some-what surprise party:
with balloons!!! vanilla cake
vanilla icing
vanilla ice cream
yum in the tum.
o! and the sermon that morning.
mm! phenomenal! thanks Jimmy!
& happy birthday to you too
{his was Feb. 8th}
grateful for my new tea infuser
and little, sweet, pot of white roses.
mmm. lovely.
2.06.2010
Winter Premiere at Baylor
so Jenna and I are
ready to give tours to
prospective students and their families
around Kokernot.
My birthday is tomorrow
very very excited
I lost my phone last friday
morning....
so unfortunately, I won't be able to
receive any b-day texts/calls
from my friends or family
sad face.
ready to give tours to
prospective students and their families
around Kokernot.
My birthday is tomorrow
very very excited
I lost my phone last friday
morning....
so unfortunately, I won't be able to
receive any b-day texts/calls
from my friends or family
sad face.
1.30.2010
what to write?
been sick since Tuesday.
no bueno.
bought lots o' Nyquil, day time liquid medicine,
& a gallon of Simply Orange juice.
free of pulp, that is.
World Mandate missions conference
is held here at Baylor's Ferrell Center.
God rocked my world last year,
but because i'm sick,
i haven't been able to even attend
1/2 of the conference.
disappointing...
week was very difficult.
have pictures coming soon of all the
black ink paintings, charcoal drawings,
and graphite drawings that i had to turn in on friday.
but God somehow gave me enough time
to complete them all- even though i got little sleep.
i need to mention how absolutely
amazing the Kokernot staff are.
i love them.
--> i have a fake engagement with another community leader, Rachana Chhin, on facebook.
its just a 'yoke...although some think it's real. whoops.
his blog found here
1.19.2010
every staff member needs a biography
for a poster in our lobby
...
Natalie Rae is the name, San Diego from which I came. I like them granola, soy milk, & in n’ out burg-er. I wanna live my life in prayer. Answer to the Holy One-who sent His son. Calling my name, “come and speak out! Why don’t you reach out? Seek my kingdom, seek my face. You can be a light in this place.”
...
Natalie Rae is the name, San Diego from which I came. I like them granola, soy milk, & in n’ out burg-er. I wanna live my life in prayer. Answer to the Holy One-who sent His son. Calling my name, “come and speak out! Why don’t you reach out? Seek my kingdom, seek my face. You can be a light in this place.”
1.14.2010
Jake Time
definition
[jeyk tahym] n. lead by Kokernot chaplain, Jake; devotional time at the end of staff meeting; activity-go in a circle 1+ times and say, "I am _{insert one word}_." it was very touching to hear everyone's heart in such simple terms. After we decide how many times to go around, each person elaborates; Jake prays for us aloud.
I am waiting.
mm, waiting for God's timing to provide for my financial needs...
{answer to prayer/concerns: an anonymous giver sent me a beautiful, new rug and trash can to my residence hall}
I am scared.
so fearful that I cannot stay at Baylor unless I can get another job {I already have 2}
{answer to prayer #2: I am starting as a child care assistant for preschool and kindergarten music and missions classes on Wednesday nights at First Baptist Woodway
#3: some BOG program from the State paid for my classes at Palomar College, so all I have to pay is a $28 dollar enrollment fee. I didn't think I was eligible. God provided $400 for me!!
#4: i can buy my Spanish textbooks because God provided, yet again :)
#5: my first hall meeting went well
[jeyk tahym] n. lead by Kokernot chaplain, Jake; devotional time at the end of staff meeting; activity-go in a circle 1+ times and say, "I am _{insert one word}_." it was very touching to hear everyone's heart in such simple terms. After we decide how many times to go around, each person elaborates; Jake prays for us aloud.
I am waiting.
mm, waiting for God's timing to provide for my financial needs...
{answer to prayer/concerns: an anonymous giver sent me a beautiful, new rug and trash can to my residence hall}
I am scared.
so fearful that I cannot stay at Baylor unless I can get another job {I already have 2}
{answer to prayer #2: I am starting as a child care assistant for preschool and kindergarten music and missions classes on Wednesday nights at First Baptist Woodway
#3: some BOG program from the State paid for my classes at Palomar College, so all I have to pay is a $28 dollar enrollment fee. I didn't think I was eligible. God provided $400 for me!!
#4: i can buy my Spanish textbooks because God provided, yet again :)
#5: my first hall meeting went well
1.07.2010
back in Texas {tay-haws}!!!!
I love it here.
I love my staff at Kokernot.
I'm learning to spell everything with a "k"
like kouch konversations, knatalie, kafe, karing, kommunity, knews, kashew, KALIFORNIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the Lord has blessed me more
than i imagined.
I love my staff at Kokernot.
I'm learning to spell everything with a "k"
like kouch konversations, knatalie, kafe, karing, kommunity, knews, kashew, KALIFORNIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the Lord has blessed me more
than i imagined.
1.01.2010
new year's resolutions?
a little birdie {a.k.a. Josh Boyd}
told me the top 10 in the U.S. are:
told me the top 10 in the U.S. are:
- spend more time with family and friends
- get fit
- lose weight
- quit smoking
- enjoy life more
- quit drinking
- get out of debt
- help others
- learn something new
- get organized
I say the number one should be....
- focus on/love/worship God; the unseen; what has eternal weight
- have a simple faith
- strive to love instead of get my way
- instead of thinking about how much i'd like to look differently, i'd like to listen to the Holy Spirit speak truth about my identity in Christ-being the daughter of the King
- draw more
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