reflection

the Lord touches hearts.
the Lord brings people into our lives who bring life, purpose, and truth because they are dependent on the Lord for His abundant life, purpose, and truth.

I am so grateful for Janie Miles, Miles, Ellen Gilbert, Ramona Adams, Cody, Matt, TC, Daniel, Leash, Paige, and Ope! Because of this particular missions meeting, I'm really thinking about going to Interface in Papua New Guinea with New Tribes Mission!!!! I loved hearing Janie's testimony.

In the meantime, I am loving my modern dance and geology courses. I was so blessed to get in to every class that I needed, even though I started off on the wait-list. The Lord is faithful and good.

He is SO faithful guys.

P.S. i need prayer for contentment given any circumstance.

jah jah

i had a nervous breakdown today.

i lost the Lord's peace about staying.

i miss my community at Baylor
so incredibly much
Acts 2:42-47

then, i went to work.
the blind woman i cook for
described to me the day that
she lost her sight, only 3 years
ago. how afraid she was.


After she lost her sight,
she knew that she needed God.


She described how she believed
in God, but didn't know Him.
She said "Jesus, I can't
guarantee that I'll trust in You,
but I'll try my hardest"

So she asked Jesus
if it's true that He was born of a virgin
if it's true that He died on the cross
if it's true that He rose again and
if it's true that all her sins were forgiven.

She said that He spoke with her and
she made up her mind that He
is truth, all-powerful, and Her
personal savior.

As she spoke, i couldn't help but cry silently.

i feel so blind.
no word could better define it.

& i'd be a fool to not trust in
my Lord no matter how difficult it is.
because
He is worth it.

i'd like a grilled cheese & tomato. sourdough. and fries, please.

delightful morning at Escondido Joe's coffee shop and Champions family-owned diner
a wise friend told me today

{may be a paraphrased}

"...at least you know you're in {or are doing} God's will, because you're not doing what your plans were..."

looking forward to small groups with the college group at church this fall, to some cold weather {ok, ok. yall won't think that this is "cold weather;" but it is to us Californians}, to pumpkin pie, to my sister's wedding, and to riding public transportation A.K.A. the "Sprinter" to school.

last night of beach bonfire with college group. bum. mer.

but the beach will always be a sanctuary {like downtown Grand Ave}. no matter the season.

aspirations for the semester

1. finish reading "Celebration of Discipline"
2. learn to play the guitar by my lil brother
3. exercise more frequently
4. save money
5. try to NOT dye my hair

you can't have your cake, and eat it too

i'm on a waitlist for all my classes {start next monday}

i began working for a 70 something year old blind woman.
paid by the gov't.
make her meals,
help her get around the house.
her website is http://www.jeannejennay.net/
i will become her "weekend gal"

this summer, i've found that i love cooking.
to show people i care about them,
i bake 'em things.
like cookies, muffins, pancakes, pancakes, & pancakes

i'm reading this amazing book called "Celebration of Discipline" by Richard J. Foster
the dryer my relationship with the Lord feels, the more i desire to be like
"the Devotional Masters of the Christian faith- Augustine of Hippo and Francis of Assisi and Julian of Norwich...(Foster xiii)"

oldest sister, Jessica got engaged a bit ago.
the wedding? November 14th. crazy, i know.
after her, my mom, and i went wedding dress shopping all weekend,
she found the dress of her dreams.
absolutely exquisite {at David's Bridal in Oceanside}

i wish i was more joyful.
but the Lord promises that there will
be joy in the morning!

what's fantastic is that i love mornings.
especially cold, gray ones.
mm. wonderful.

if i haven't talked with you in a while,
feel free to call me,
i'd love to hear your voice.
Baylor friends, yall are so dear to me.
miss you!

the fellas

{Hinckley, Poe, Bret}

they blew up balloons for my mom's birthday at my cousins' house in Austin, while I went through my storage and packed my suitcases for California

Some artwork from drawing class that I had to leave behind

in Austin:

{charcoal}

{pencil}

logic

The Lord wants me to stay in Escondido, CA for the semester.
The Lord is good.
His will for my life is good.
Therefore, staying in Escondido, CA is somehow good.

holding onto that promise {Jeremiah 29:11}

tissues...

ok. I have mine. I'm good.
ok. *deep breath*

I cannot afford to stay at Baylor University.
Filed in the Special Circumstance Form with my dad's unemployment.
Baylor did not offer enough money for me to stay.
My mom, sister, and I considered alternative loans.
This morning, after much crying, worshiping the Lord, praying, worshiping, crying, crying, and crying some more...
I decided to stay here & go to Palomar Community College for 1 or 2 semesters --> I worked my butt off in high school so that I don't have to go here.
It is going to take a lot of broken pride for me to go...
I contacted the Financial Aid office one last time on the request of my hall director and future employer, Nadine.
I am awaiting their response to my last plea for help.

The Lord is giving me some peace about staying, although it is extremely painful to even think about not being at Baylor, Antioch, and Lifegroup.

I am a mess. I have a headache from crying too hard for so many days. and I am asking for your prayers:

-humility
-wisdom
-patience
-God's peace
-my mom's health. She cannot sleep from stress of Baylor and exhaustion from work {she works overtime to pay for everything = food, two people in college, my sister's wedding in 2.5 months, our house, animals, etc.} Her worry and lack of sleep has made her very ill...
-that I would find a community of believers/accountability partners
-my dad would get work {he is self-employed; general contractor}

I love you all and miss you with all of my heart, and more.

cutest song ever

right here

big news #2

my sister Michelle
is home from
Ghana, Africa!!!

{I love helping plan my older sister's wedding. so fun.}