Happy Christmas, my loves!

after all of the bustle of Christmas Eve,
my sister Michelle and I
sat in silence
in front of the fireplace
with the Christmas tree lit.

so much peace.

Jesus Christ .Emmanuel. "God with us"

Yes!! He is!!!!


finals week

is over tomorrow!
I have a photography & Spanish final left..

I fly out of Dallas the 17th..

my friend Olivia {from South Korea}
is visiting me in San Diego from the 22nd-25th

my friends Meredith, Austin & Harrison
are visiting after Christmas, for about a week and a half

couldn't be more excited!!!

photography by Meredith Richey


Deuteronomy 32:10-12 {NIV}

"In a desert land he found him,
in a barren and howling waste.

He shielded him and cared for him;
he guarded him as the apple of his eye,
like an eagle that stirs up its nest
and hovers over its young,
that spreads its wings to catch them
and carries them aloft.

The Lord alone led him;
no foreign god was with him."


going to school in another state

helps me identify with
being a daughter of the King

instead of a daughter of the Shapiro family


i forgot to tell you

God asked me to cut off all my hair
& trust Him

He wants to teach me to see myself the way
He sees me

When He says "you're beautiful. i delight in you so much"
He wants me to believe Him.

So last Thursday night,
Tommy Fry buzzed my head, prayed over me,
and said "God has a peace about this.
This is your new ministry!
Be excited!! You look good! You look good!"

it took me an hour to have the
gumption to face the world with my new self

but since then, i'm experiencing more and more freedom
freedom from lies
freedom from worry
freedom from opinion

my hair is something that glorifies Him

something that brings Him into conversation
with all that i meet.

mm. it's so wonderful.
and light.
and a reminder of
how gentle and faithful God is.

don't get me wrong,
it's difficult sometimes
but it's SO WORTH IT.



that i'm typing this out...
i'm really learning to speak,

to say what's on my mind,

to share with others
pieces of me,
not just the
"Holy Spirit" in me

but also, Natalie.

haha, it just sounds so weird.
i've learned to speak with my eyes
and my smile.

i need my words, too.


life is slowing down

not that i'm less busy

but that i'm finding it easier
to rest.
and meditate on the fact that

so great.



hate being dry

this weekend will be a time to refresh.

+ many art projects ahead of me {whoopay!}


abstract illustration of
"i'm a line and i feel sassy"
for design methods class

a fully rendered
frontal view of the human skull
for figure drawing class

develop and print
black and white film
for "quality of light" study


He's all around me.

Flyleaf "All Around Me"


conversations with Elisa & Harrison

we are spiritual beings having a physical experience

not physical beings having a spiritual experience


how did creation react to Jesus Christ's presence
on the earth?

did the trees and grass lean towards their Creator
when He lay asleep?

{apparently, this is a concept from My Epic}


my thoughts this day:

.God has blessed the world with coffee.
the divine drip© -Ryan Paulson

boy, did i need it earlier.



Palomar Community College in the Spring & Summer
and then transfer to Cal State San Marcos in the Fall...

brainstorming about a place to live...

my house is an option.
but i'd rather not.


after a lot of soul searching

i have decided to transfer to a school in Southern CA
{maybe Cal State San Marcos}

.incredibly thankful for your prayers!

.i have so much peace and direction

.bitter-sweet. but more sweet.
because there's so much hope & promise




please look up Kari Jobe's You Are For Me

sinks deep inside.


my loans and finances have been such a burden.
such a burden that my health is on the line.

please lift me up in prayer.

I'm praying for wisdom, guidance, and peace
..about transfering schools in the Spring..


how deep the Father's love for us.

how vast beyond all measure.

that He should give His only Son.

to make a wretch His treasure.



first day of classes

so excited to take:

tennis {so i can compete with my family when i'm home}
black & white, film photography
ballet {have to wear pink tights, a black leotard, & ballet slippers!}
spanish {for my minor}
figure drawing
graphic design {the concentration of my studio art~BFA}


getting sick, but am resting a lot


i love my new residents.
they're awesome.

i'm assigned to the residents of the
"Animals & Human Society"
Engaged Learning Group



Flights went well,
met awesome people on the plane,
& arrived safely to Baylor
with Adam
after staying with Katie in Dallas

i'm already completely upacked
and there's a collage on my board
above my bed!

*deep sigh*
i'm here.


weird dreams this week..

for example:

.being tipsy the. entire. time.
which is weird..ya know? cause i've never been tipsy.
oddly enough, it was more of a...
tipsy/hangover/angry/sad dream.
so weird.

i'm so excited to be able to go to
PB {Pacific Beach} today to visit
Britt, my best friend since 3rd grade
..she's here from Montana!!

my little brother always asks me
when i'm making chocolate chip cookies
& i can happily say i finally made
some this summer

Tadashi and Kaylynn joined me.

our large, glass cookie jar
is full, once again.


open house & casual bonfire

for my "Off to TX" goodbyes..

so thankful for all who came tonight!

loved star gazing with
Steven, Pedro, & Andy afterward

Paige wrote me such an encouraging card
and wrote Isaiah 43:1-3 in it!!
which was incredible! because
it has been SUCH a significant verse
in my life the past 2 years

{i'm getting it tattooed on my arm
in about 2 years} --after i pay my loans

Isaiah 43:1-3

look it up.


i fly out to texas

the 6th of August!

can you believe it?

i'm so excited but
fearful to re-unite with
my storage in Kokernot's basement.

out of sight, out of mind.


last night's wedding details

Mexican food.

Gerber daisies in jars.

multicolored bridesmaids dresses.

bride's gown reminded me of a Greek goddess.

the groom couldn't stop smiling all night.

to prepare for the toast,
i needed to set a Martinelli's bottle
of sparkling cider at each table
and say with a lovely smile,
"hi! this is for the toast. thanks!"

after confronting a table of
men and women in their 30s with a few
babies in strollers,
one man said

"do you have a knife?"

i looked down at his plate. he had one.

"um, do you need an extra one?" i said,
sounding very confused.

he laughed. "you know. to spread? over the toast."

"o." i laughed still looking somewhat confused.

i walked away from the table thinking
how odd, yet funny, the guest had been.

thanks, whoever you are,
for making my night.


i'm trying to process so much...

please pray that
i tackle my thoughts and untrustworthy emotions
instead of distract myself from
the condition i'm in.

that is all. for now..



i love weddings! drinks all around!
-Captain Jack Sparrow

today, my family is hosting
yet another wedding

the couple?
bride from Denmark
& American groom

i love it.

also, today is my day off.
pedro, tasha and i
plan to drive to Julian, CA

..but the weather report
says "isolated thunder storms"

we're in an open jeep,
so maybe a 'no go'

update later in the day:
..went shopping at the mall
during a hot rain outside
..directed cars at our
front gate for a few hours
in the HEAT. SOOO HOT.
..got Golden Spoon {frozen yogurt}
with Pedro, Tasha & Brenna
..went to Barnes & Noble with Pedro
..came home and helped at the



photography class

in the fall!

graphic design majors
are required to take
photography 2A & B

this man
's photography is

i need to invest in a camera.


no. really.

what are men, to rocks and mountains? ..and God??

our lives are vapor
God is an unchanging, eternal, loving, holy
Father, Son, & Spirit.

God is worthy of our praise.


'what are men to rocks and mountains?'

jane austen

loving reading
Pride & Prejudice


nickname that means you can throw a punch

anyone seen the movie, "whip it?"
it's fantastic!!
the main character, Bliss
becomes ..Babe Ruthless
for the team, Hurl Scouts
of the roller blade derby.

Micah and I couldn't think
of any awesome names for ourselves.
still can't. any ideas?


went to the dentist this morning.
had time to spare before work.
drove a block over to downtown Escondido.
talked on the phone with the lovely Erica
while walking through my
favorite antique shop.


dinner with the Berghorsts.
family friends & missionaries in England,
partnering with Arab World Ministries

Clare and I watched Pride & Prejudice
while the parents drank wine on the porch


helped my wonderful, little brother Mike
pack for his 2 week road trip with
friends to a music festival in Chicago

i always fold his shirts.

he leaves at 4 a.m.

unfortunately i will not be awake
but i plan to watch the sunrise
at 5:41.


this saturday, my college group
at church is hosting an
80's party at my house
{because of our dance floor}
i'm stoked to say the least.


lovely things to read...
cupcakes and cashmere


monday's food for thought

Ryan Paulson's analogy of
a bear. and God.

when camping, the presence of a bear
completely shapes your speech and actions.

all eyes are on it.

God's presence should cause the same effect.


gotta love tuesday

kaylynn and i started at Solana Beach.
walked to the tide pools to Del Mar Beach.
spontaneously decided to go to the Del Mar Fair
because it looked so lovely off in the distance


what would your life look like

if you truly believed you are accepted by God?
believed you are chosen?
believed you are His child?

He is mine. and I am His.

nothing is more beautiful than that truth.


walk into jeanne's apartment

yell "Hi Jeanne! I'm here!! how are you?"
she has her radio headphones on.
yell louder "Hi Jeanne!!"
open the blinds
place eye drop cold packs by bed in freezer
refill water cups she has in specific places around the apartment
make breakfast and lunch for the next day {takes 5 min.}
walk back into her room,
"So, Jeanne, what are we going to do today?"
"How about you grab the prayers, but
before we say them, let's do personal prayers."
"Sounds great!"
Deep inhale. exhale.
"Heavenly Father...."

the best start to work everyday.


exhaustion, sun burn, celebration

.i am working full time/ 6 days a week for
an elderly woman who has lost her eye sight

{the same lady that i worked for last fall}

i. am. so. burnt out.

.blessing: our family friends, the Grimes
allow me to use their suburban in the meantime
because i do not have a car to take me to work

.because i only have Tuesdays off, i
definitely go to the beach and then try
to fit in as much as possible on that day
when i should be resting..

..but Laura and i had so much fun taking
the train to Oceanside yesterday morning
at 8 a.m.
why that early? who knows?
but it was fun -cold- but fun.

..ended up getting sun burnt
across my legs and face while hanging
out with Jamie, Manda, and Aaron
->we played some mean 4 square haha

.my parents celebrated their
anniversary of 25 years of marriage
they said that it is the grace of God
that they're still together.


this morning

Micha and Treva came over
and we made Norwegian pancakes,

Pannekaken a form of crepes

we made small ones and
experimented with different
fruit jams, peanut butters, powdered sugar, whipped cream, & chocolate


while working for Jeanne
i learned to make vegan meatloaf,
a.k.a. loaf


been reading "My Utmost for His Highest"
by Oswald Chambers

O! finally bought a journal,
and it took a few days to
gain the courage to
write my thoughts down.
Jeesh. very scary.


i look forward to seeing
Tadashi at the college group's
BBQ on saturday


my little brother is
I'm so proud of you, Mike

he's a smart cookie
but doesn't believe me



is such a slow process.

i'm in need of a journal.


Christ in me.

Christ in me.

Christ in me,

the hope of glory.

YOU are everything.

Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything


been lovely

.hiked around our property with
my dogs, Harper & Buddie

.ate watermelon with my mom

.had a lovely dinner conversation
with Laura, Ragan, Mrs. Grimes
& Mr. and Mrs. Gilbert
over soup -->my welcome home party :)

.shopped with Manda after her
last final

.house-sat with Manda
and Jamie

.baked cookies from scratch with Jenny

.went to Carlsbad State Beach
with Hailey, Manda, Pedro,
Michael, Kevin, Michelle, &
Michelle's two friends from Belgium,
Sophie and Davy

.washed, poked, oiled,
and wrapped in foil
around 50 potatoes
in preparation for
Mike and Michelle's
graduation party tomorrow
{graduating from high school & college}

.ate Mexican food.
again and again.

.look forward to
not being so
spiritually dry/stubborn

.start work on Sunday!!
i'll be serving Jeanne Jennay,
an older lady, who has lost her eye sight,
for about 30-35 hours every week
will have Tuesdays off only!


i fly home

Monday, May 17th!!!

California! I'll be home soon, sweetheart!


all of Ecclesiastes is so good!

but i'd like to highlight this
passage for now:

verses 1-4 {NIV}
"A good name is better than fine perfume,
and the day of death better than the day of birth.

It is better to go to a house of mourning
than to go to a house of feasting,
for death is the destiny of every man;
the living should take this to heart.

Sorrow is better than laughter,
because a sad face is good for the heart.

The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning,
but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure."


God finally got a hold of my heart

went to Common Grounds
to read my Bible


randomly discovered
Antioch's Elevate {training school}
was hosting a Uganda Benefit
concert before
sending them off

the night was filled
with musical, painting,
writing, &
culinary artists


every song or
spoken word {form of poetry}
made me want to cry,
God was speaking to me
through their voices


an older couple behind me
asked for me to sit
with them.

i will never forget their kindness.


after hearing about
how God laid Uganda
on the hearts of
those around me

i realized how much
He has the same heart for me


He wants to heal me.
Restore me.
Love me in the only ways that
will completely fill me
and sustain me.

He wants to be my everything.


slowly but surely

it's 3:15 a.m.
listening to Kate Nash's
over and over and over

painted my toenails red-
can you believe it?!
been quite a few months
since they've had
any color- or pizzaz

finishing my art
booklet is going

but surely.

i'm enjoying staying up
although i have to
work at 7 a.m.


gotta love the end of school years

.walked barefoot around campus all day
yesterday. just cause it felt like summer

.done with all boring home work yesss!

.finals next week, but Baylor gives us
2 "dead" days to study for them

.all i have due is a quaint
drawing booklet i'm painting
with ink and water

.summer plans...
taking aerobics class,
full time {40 hours} job
taking care of Jeanne
through California's
In Home Support Services,
beach bonfires
with EFCC college group


..learn to sew clothes
..weekly gym routine
..expand art portfolio

can't wait to come home
and hear about how God
is moving in Escondido



good times

abbey treated me to starbucks
after our classes

wonderful conversation about life.

staff photo-shoot today

...art book on Reeves paper
must be started tonight
{at least the layout of the compostions}
so Erica, Maria and I may
have an "art party"

tomorrow. AH!
helping man the booth
selling Elisa's photography


Dia Del Oso

{Day of the *Baylor* Bear}
no school today. holla!


.many many bands

it was depressing/pleasant
to stand by myself and enjoy
the hard rock
beaneath the light rain droplets
--with about 20 other people
cause no one wanted to
be out in the gloom
--can't blame 'em

.wallie ball later in the evening;
i was a spectactor,
which was, you guessed it, depressing;
then i played with Meredith, Steven and Elisa
after the tournaments were over

.came back to the heart of campus for
colbie caillat

finally ran into friends
like Goob, Christine, Gina,
Bret, Claire, Erica, etc.
-nice surprises.

but the music was too chillax
and she wasn't a good performer,
so i'm back in my room.

wish my heart wasn't so heavy.



gonna be honest

i'm not doing too hot.

one of my residents told me
to see a counselor on campus.
cause they're free.

but i'm reminded that i'd rather
talk with the
Great Counselor ... God.


like a crazymonkey

i took at nap on friday night
@ 5 p.m.

only to wake up 8 hours later
@ 1 a.m.

wide awake. thinking "danggit"

fell back asleep
@ 3:30ish

only to wake up,
get ready
by 7:30 a.m.

after some much needed time
with the Lord,
i plan to walk to the library

study some art history,
do some Spanish extra credit,
then work on my
monochromatic drawing...


ode to friday

Shipley's for a kolache with
Gina, Manda, & Patti


studying for a Spanish vocabulary quiz
means writing the terms on my chalk board
over and over


Sunny's encouragement:

1 Thessalonians 1:2-3 {NIV}
"We always thank God for all of you,
mentioning you in our prayers.
We continually remember
before our God and Father
your work produced by faith,
your labor prompted by love,
and your endurance inspired by hope
in our Lord Jesus Christ."


1 Corinthians 1:4-9
"I always thank God for you
because of his grace given you
in Christ Jesus.
For in him
you have been enriched in every way
—in all your speaking
and in all your knowledge—
because our testimony
about Christ was confirmed in you.
Therefore you do not lack any spiritual gift
as you eagerly wait
for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed.

He will keep you strong to the end,
so that you will be blameless
on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.
God, who has called you into fellowship
with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful."


words o words

i have not found my words
to be salty and full of grace.
grr. Lord, please help me.
my speech has not honored you lately.


the weekend holds Spring Premiere!
which means that other
community leaders and i will
be giving multiple tours
of Kokernot on Saturday


i am ridiculously excited
to be coming home to CA
& to be visiting David after finals
in a few weeks

ah! yay!


a little bit of salt goes a long way

Colossians 4: 6 {NIV}
“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

Matthew 13:5 {NIV}
“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.”

Psalm 141: 3-4 {NIV}
“Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips. Let not my heart be drawn to what is evil, to take part in wicked deeds with men who are evildoers; let me not eat of their delicacies.”

lesson I learned in third grade that has stuck with me for years and years:

1. Draw a picture using Popsicle sticks and toothpaste.
2. Now try to put your toothpaste mess back into the tube.
3. Words are like the toothpaste, once they are said, you cannot take them back.

Lord, I want my words to be salty and full of grace.


1 Peter 5:10-11 {NIV}

"And the God of all grace,
who called you
to His eternal glory in Christ,
after you have suffered a little while,
and make you STRONG
To Him be the power
for ever and ever.

Jesus wants to personally restore us.



I am experiencing the
joy of the Lord!



in Christ alone

my hope is found.

He is my light, my strength, my song.

This Cornerstone, this solid ground.

Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.

What heights of love, what depths of peace.

When fears are stilled, when strivings cease.

My Comforter, my All in All.

Here in the love of Christ I stand.


do not be anxious about anything

but by prayer and petition with thanksgiving
let your requests be made known to God
and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding
will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus

Philippians 4:6-7 {NIV}

do not be anxious about anything

do not be anxious about anything

God's peace will guart my heart and mind.


listen to the song

"Dance Anthem of the 80s"
by Regina Spektor

it's awesome
and been on my mind for a few days...

today i felt lizard-like.
lying in the sun on random
benches/concrete sections of campus
all day long.

was able to play some
frisbee, soccer, and sand volleyball

went to dinner with
Meredith and Sunny,
which was incredibly fun.

saw an Easter play at church.
pretty powerful.
about the prodigal son.

overall good day.


i love mornings

woke up before the sun.

holding onto the promise
that today is ordained by God
and that he has divine appointments for me
and he wants me to abide in His love
mm. can't wait to see what's in store.


10 things that make me terribly happy:

1. new freckles
2. dancing at a wedding reception
3. quoting movies
4. beach bonfires/camping
5. in n out burger
6. hanging out with david hinckley & david poe
7. home-made dough & pizza
8. dad's bbq of chicken/carnitas/fish
9. hiking
10. chewable vitamin-C


strange and awesome weekend...

deep wounds came up that i've
had for years & years.
they were hard to face
but it was so refreshing to
experience a touch of God's grace
in those areas.


got pretty sun burnt yesterday
after studying
in the strong, TX sun.


nerd alert.
while eating with some of my
good guy friends,
they noticed that i had
some to-do notes on my hand.

i have good penmanship.

i explained that my
writing looks whimsical
because i used to be obsessed
with the Lord of the Rings in
eighth grade and decided
to write more like Elvish...

yep. i was embarrassed.


2 Corinthians 3:17 (NIV)

"Now the Lord is the Spirit,
and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is,
there is freedom."

saw this verse on my friend's arm.
so i thought i'd memorize too!


fun BBQ at Cameroon Park
playing soccer and frisbee.
makes me feel like a college student.
i love it.

now off to study
for a Spanish exam...


today consists of 3 exams.

art history; mass communications; american literature
{taken first 2 thus far}

this morning was overwhelming.
i wasn't stressed,
just exhausted.
hit a psychological wall-
couldn't possibly study any more.

BUT God has been saying to me
over and over the past 2 days:

"I delight in you."

which i cannot fathom.
it's just too wonderful.

i'd rather be secure in the
identity He gives me
than place my value in my grades


i hate being needy.

no one wants to vomit their
weaknesses on other people


i've been in a spiritual
"phunk" if you will,
for about a week.

after finding it
exhausting to force
the promises of God
and spiritual truths
that i know,
into my heart,

God has finally reached me.

He has given me joy,
and a renewed Spirit
that gives me hope.

yah, problems just don't
go away

but God is never changing
and He will always be
my mine
and I his.


never caught

sickness for so long.
keep getting new symptoms
& then holding onto them for a
week or so.

symptom of the week? cough.

no worries. it's small.


this week of class hit me hard,
pretty exhausted


house-sitting this weekend


lots of art projects to work on, too


thinkin about how
i strive and strive for
other people's
affection and love,
when i truly long
for security within the



love of God.


the goal today

place God's wisdom
above my own.

know His thoughts and heart
instead of my own.



and drawing class were
incredibly enjoyable today
i was just filled God's peace

spanish class was aight.

i miss the Hinckley family.

been wondering about what
i'm doing for the summer...

... mm Baylor in Madrid?
yes please.
but i'll probably end up
in Chile or Argentina
with Baylor in a few semesters

lookin forward to some
CA sun n' love

thankful that Waco TX
is experiencing some
beautiful weather


been thinkin about

Philipians 2:1-4 {NIV}
"If you have any encouragement
from being united with Christ,
if any comfort from his love,
if any fellowship with the Spirit,
if any tenderness or compassion,
then make my joy complete,
by being like-minded,
being one in spirit and purpose.
Do nothing out of selfish
ambition or vain conceit,
but consider others better than
Each of you should look not
only to your interests,
but also to the interests of others."


Psalm 119:23-24 {NIV}

"Search me O God and know my heart
Test me and know my anxious thoughts
See if there is any offensive way in me
and lead me in the way everlasting"

been on my mind lately...

highlights of spring break

=things i'm incredibly
grateful for

some may sound really weird...

.the day that David & i
cleaned the gutters and skylights
on the roof

.sitting on the roof at night
while David smoked his pipe

.new favorite movie:
Stranger Than Fiction

.others i like:
Whip It & Shawshank Redemption

.after attempting
many "pulls" i can do a
pull-up again finally

.finger tip push ups!

.David's sister
was an amazing cook!
our last morning there,
she made us
German Apple Pancakes
+ fresh berries and whipped cream

.David's guitar skills

.hanging out with his mom
while she did paper work

.i'm most thankful for
getting to be a part of
such a beautiful family


pretty much all alone.

my friends have left
{or will leave
tomorrow morning}
for spring break 2
Haiti, Costa Rica, and Edinburg, TX

i leave for San Angelo

til then i should...

1. deep clean my room

2. do my three loads of laundry
{that means i need to find $6
worth of quarters some how

3. read my Bible more

4. rest! {i'm sick, again.

5. ...i'm
going to stop making a list
and go clean my room...
*as Ryan Paulson would say


i miss CA

it's awesome to be back,
don't get me wrong,

but I really miss
my family {+ Shelly},
my college group at church,
my Mission-styled home,
my dogs,
my cats,
Shapiro parties,
the weather,
my lovely bible study
with Natalie B.,
Escondido Joe's Coffee,
hiking in Escondido,
studying at Barnes & Noble
cause no where else is open
at 9:30 p.m.,
taking the train
& meeting people,
the fresh CA fruit,
the palm trees,
In N Out,
Oceanside Pier,
my ICF bible study
of international students,
& star gazing
just to name a few...


crazy texas weather

it's snowing!

light, steady shower.

a nice wintry mix
of ice, rain, and snow

i love precipitation


on a serious note,
let this be of

Psalm 145:14
"The Lord upholds all those
who fall, & lifts up
all who are bowed down."


new day

new life.

i feel sooo rejuvenated
and refreshed!

i'm gaining many new
life ambitions;
i'm getting on top of
my schooling;
and i'm feeling good.

very good, actually.

almost completely
healed! -
after being sick for
2 weeks.



amidst anxiety, the Lord stands still. I wait for His sweet peace.

John 12:27-28 {NIV}
"Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!" Then a voice came from heaven, "I have glorified it, and will glorify it again."

=Christ's example of how we should respond to trials, pain, suffering

Lamentations 3:19-32 {NIV}
"I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young. Let him sit alone in silence, for the Lord has laid it on him. Let him bury his face in the dust— there may yet be hope. Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him, and let him be filled with disgrace. For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love."

Psalm 27 {NIV}
"The Lord is my light and my salvation—so why should I be afraid? The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble? When evil people come to devour me, when my enemies and foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart will not be afraid. Even if I am attacked, I will remain confident. The one thing I ask of the Lord— the thing I seek most—is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, delighting in the Lord’s perfections and meditating in his Temple. For he will conceal me there when troubles come; he will hide me in his sanctuary. He will place me out of reach on a high rock. Then I will hold my head high above my enemies who surround me. At his sanctuary I will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy, singing and praising the Lord with music. Hear me as I pray, O Lord. Be merciful and answer me! My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.” And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.” Do not turn your back on me. Do not reject your servant in anger. You have always been my helper. Don’t leave me now; don’t abandon me, O God of my salvation! Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close. Teach me how to live, O Lord. Lead me along the right path, for my enemies are waiting for me. Do not let me fall into their hands. For they accuse me of things I’ve never done; with every breath they threaten me with violence. Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living. Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord."

mm, the Lord comforted me this morning
while i sat beside the Baylor creek...

He was with me while i took my
American Lit. test...

He spoke truth to me through
Sunny & Hinckley...

& He has never stopped
pursuing me.


i am eaten.

so many things are eating away at me...

But I want to put on the full armor of God,
so that when the day of evil comes,
I may be able to stand my ground-
to stand with the belt of truth
buckled around my waste,
with the breatplate of righteousness in place,
and my feet fitted with the readiness
that comes from the gospel of peace.
{Ephesians 6:13-15 NIV}

Lord, i want to be secure in You!
i want to be unshaken in Your truth,
i want to hold onto Your promises-
hold onto who You say You are
& who You say i am,
i want to live in Your abundant life,
because everything else
leaves me unsatisfied & dry.

"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit."
{Jeremiah 17:7-8 NIV}


today's thoughts consist of

...an amazing cupcake recipe found here
{by Design Sponge Online}
can't wait to use it!

...'Singles' Awareness Day' {S.A.D.} is
coming up

...how my plaid rainboots
make me feel empowered.
i can walk through anything
that comes my way... hyah!



*Regina Spektor

birthday night: no sticky rice & coconut ice cream
at Bangkok Royale
but did have some tex mex
with Patti, Rachana, Sunny, Bret, Gina, & Jon!

earlier in the day,
grabbed some Panera
with wonderful friends
Gina's some-what surprise party:
with balloons!!! vanilla cake
vanilla icing
vanilla ice cream
yum in the tum.

o! and the sermon that morning.
mm! phenomenal! thanks Jimmy!
& happy birthday to you too
{his was Feb. 8th}

grateful for my new tea infuser
and little, sweet, pot of white roses.
mmm. lovely.


Winter Premiere at Baylor

so Jenna and I are
ready to give tours to
prospective students and their families
around Kokernot.

My birthday is tomorrow
very very excited

I lost my phone last friday
so unfortunately, I won't be able to
receive any b-day texts/calls
from my friends or family
sad face.


what to write?

been sick since Tuesday.
no bueno.

bought lots o' Nyquil, day time liquid medicine,
& a gallon of Simply Orange juice.
free of pulp, that is.

World Mandate missions conference
is held here at Baylor's Ferrell Center.

God rocked my world last year,
but because i'm sick,
i haven't been able to even attend
1/2 of the conference.

week was very difficult.
have pictures coming soon of all the
black ink paintings, charcoal drawings,
and graphite drawings that i had to turn in on friday.
but God somehow gave me enough time
to complete them all- even though i got little sleep.

i need to mention how absolutely
amazing the Kokernot staff are.
i love them.

--> i have a fake engagement with another community leader, Rachana Chhin, on facebook.

its just a 'yoke...although some think it's real. whoops.

his blog found here


every staff member needs a biography

for a poster in our lobby

Natalie Rae is the name, San Diego from which I came. I like them granola, soy milk, & in n’ out burg-er. I wanna live my life in prayer. Answer to the Holy One-who sent His son. Calling my name, “come and speak out! Why don’t you reach out? Seek my kingdom, seek my face. You can be a light in this place.”


Jake Time

[jeyk tahym] n. lead by Kokernot chaplain, Jake; devotional time at the end of staff meeting; activity-go in a circle 1+ times and say, "I am _{insert one word}_." it was very touching to hear everyone's heart in such simple terms. After we decide how many times to go around, each person elaborates; Jake prays for us aloud.

I am waiting.
mm, waiting for God's timing to provide for my financial needs...
{answer to prayer/concerns: an anonymous giver sent me a beautiful, new rug and trash can to my residence hall}

I am scared.
so fearful that I cannot stay at Baylor unless I can get another job {I already have 2}

{answer to prayer #2: I am starting as a child care assistant for preschool and kindergarten music and missions classes on Wednesday nights at First Baptist Woodway

#3: some BOG program from the State paid for my classes at Palomar College, so all I have to pay is a $28 dollar enrollment fee. I didn't think I was eligible. God provided $400 for me!!

#4: i can buy my Spanish textbooks because God provided, yet again :)

#5: my first hall meeting went well


back in Texas {tay-haws}!!!!

I love it here.

I love my staff at Kokernot.

I'm learning to spell everything with a "k"

like kouch konversations, knatalie, kafe, karing, kommunity, knews, kashew, KALIFORNIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the Lord has blessed me more
than i imagined.


new year's resolutions?

a little birdie {a.k.a. Josh Boyd}
told me the top 10 in the U.S. are:
  1. spend more time with family and friends
  2. get fit
  3. lose weight
  4. quit smoking
  5. enjoy life more
  6. quit drinking
  7. get out of debt
  8. help others
  9. learn something new
  10. get organized

I say the number one should be....

  1. focus on/love/worship God; the unseen; what has eternal weight
  2. have a simple faith
  3. strive to love instead of get my way
  4. instead of thinking about how much i'd like to look differently, i'd like to listen to the Holy Spirit speak truth about my identity in Christ-being the daughter of the King
  5. draw more